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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in XBROKENXROSEX's LiveJournal:

Thursday, March 24th, 2016
12:43 am
What's the point of telling my feelings to someone who doesn't take me seriously Fuck.

I just want to runaway and be invisible. I lead a pathetic life. Jess deserved to live I really didn't. I only get in the way. Jess was full of amazing energy with one hell of a laugh.

My mother was right about me. Sometimes I wish she really did kill me, instead she made me feel so worthless and dead inside like an empty shell. Instead of death I was granted a broken spirit.

She always said no one else wanted me, she always told me she wanted to get rid of me and put me back in an orphanage. Why couldn't you have just killed me? It would've been easier for everyone. What's the point of life? To love? To love and get it broken where you felt worse now than before feeling it?

Jess I know this is karma for all the shit I put you through . What the fuck is love because I don't know what it is anymore, maybe what I thought it was doesn't exist anymore. I sure in the hell get I don't deserve it. I don't know why I've been so low past month or so, feeling so lonely. Then again It's always there but it's getting harder to fake. Jess I need to talk to you, but I know you needed me too and I always failed you.

I'm an ass hole I never deserved you. She was right about that but not for the reason she thinks. Fuck she didn't even give a fuck about you until you passed , she hated you but you passed and she can bring you up whenever but I wasn't allowed to be sad about you because I wasn't "in your circle anymore" ? Fuck that she knew nothing about you. I loved you, I love you. You were everything I let it slip. You took me for who I was, you knew every fucking thing about me. You knew all of me before I seperated myself into my seperate lives.

It should have been me. I wish it was me.
Tuesday, March 8th, 2016
10:09 pm
My love, my hope for mankind was no less than His. But I have watched you trample that gift. I have watched you kill each other over race and greed … waging war over dust and rubble and the words in old books. And yet, in the midst of all this darkness, I see some people who will not be bowed. I see some people who will not give up, even when they know all hope is lost. Some people, who realize being lost is so close to being found. I see you … you are the reason I still have faith.
8:17 pm
I had a dream last night ... A male was acting shady in parking lot. I watched through the cameras which oddly enough I was watching it outside on cameras. he saw me . pointed the gun at me and tried to hold me hostage. I tried shaking hands to be nice but or because I didn't really care what he did to me. If anything it was to escape but I don't know what kind of life I was living in my dream . He wouldn't let me go. I kind of was scared but more in shock in a way where my adrenaline didn't spike at all which is why I was able to be like whatever and just be nice.I don't really remember if he killed me and I was in pergatory or if I killed him. I randomly appeared in a building, I was in a room with no doors. I then saw two females, one in red skin with graffiti type bumps and lines and the other with red , their hair color was colored in bright colors also. They were friends with this guy who tried to hold me hostage. I was nervous but found them attractive with their sex eyes and skimpy outfit which normally is a turn off when people dress slutty. I didn't see them as slutty but just sexy. They tried to convert me to their side which I guess was supposed to be "evil" considering they were friends with the guy who held me hostage. They both say on my lap on the couch. I don't remember if I kissed them or if I was just so close to them I imagined kissing them. They kept pleading saying come on, just become one of us. I told them I had to think about it but it seemed to telepathically become an understanding that I had the rest of the day to think about it. I walked down the hallway where I passed little areas like I would at a fleet market but in an actual business building. I saw a room with ps4 shit and a Room with Xbox. I don't know why or what purpose. I then saw two Wiener dogs . Couldn't find my way out. I randomly blinked and opened my eyes to see myself At my aunt and uncles house. I was in the bedroom , I have seen this house before in another dream but it doesn't really exist. I tried to escape before they found me and told my mom where I was. I somehow left the house and tried to leave through the front yard. As I exited through the Forresty yard I saw my uncle. I tried hiding but couldn't really see where I was headed. I wanted to go back to the girls because I felt they had a plan for me which was easier knowing rather then wandering without knowing where I was headed.
Sunday, January 31st, 2016
12:00 am
Will ... Will salad spoons
Blah. I asked for you to show me a sign that I was leading my life in the right direction and you showed me something either that or it's a just major coincidence
Friday, January 29th, 2016
1:51 pm
I don't care if I'm loved back, I still want to love someone.Someone, from the bottom of my heart...Straightforward, unwavering...It seems like such a simple thing, so then why.......Must it be so incredibly hard?
12:26 pm
Broken rose
The more I struggle, the more these wounds pierce into me
Our broken promises hurt me
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
10:20 pm
i love collo...

we're back together yaaaaay

we've been together for 8 days and 4 hours woooooooo
mmm i love my babie


Current Mood: flirty
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